


The Voice in the Dark

by Nightfoot



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Claustrophobia, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, Whump, caving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightfoot/pseuds/Nightfoot
Summary: Yuri finds himself injured and stranded in the depths of a cave.  He has a lot of time to think about himself, his life, and the will to survive.





	1. Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story was thematically inspired by the novel The White Road by Sarah Lotz. If you're interested in psychological horror, check it out! This fic, however, isn't really horror... unless you're claustrophobic, I guess.

“This is it, then?” Yuri surveyed the cave with curiosity.

“That’s right,” Warren, his client said.  “It widens up further in.”

Yuri certainly hoped so.  He would have to crawl to get into this thing, though he understood now why Warren said there wasn’t much of a problem with monsters in the cave.  They stood in the foothills of the Mother Cados mountains after a morning’s trek from Nordopolica.  He’d fended off a couple of enlarged grasshoppers to earn his pay to get out here, but as far as escort missions went, it was pretty simple. 

“Is that why you only wanted to hire one person?  The cave is too cramped?”

Warren, a young man perhaps a few years older than Yuri with a mop of brown hair, nodded.  “Pretty much.  It’s dangerous to go spelunking alone, but this cave system is fragile.  Too many people in there could be even more dangerous.”

“Makes sense.”  It worked out, at least.  Karol was busy in meetings with the other guild leaders in Nordopolica – a conference even Flynn was attending – Judith was tending to a Ba’ul with a tummy ache, and dogs were not suited for caving.  When Warren had approached the guild and asked for a partner to come along, Yuri was thrilled to find an excuse to not hang around making diplomatic small talk. 

“I’ll go in first.  Follow me.”

Yuri waited for him to begin to disappear into the darkness before getting down on his hands and knees to follow.  At first, he crawled through a narrow, dark tunnel with outcroppings that kept snagging his clothes.  Light shone from beyond a sharp bend only a few metres after entering.  After squeezing past the bend, the tunnel widened and Yuri was able to stand up and walk hunched over until he came out in a chamber that glowed with green light and had a ceiling high enough to stand upright.

The green light came from bioluminescent plants he recognized from the Weasand of Cados.  They reminded him of short cattails, except the hot-dog looking part at the end glowed greenish-white.  They gave off enough light to see the stalactites hanging from the ceiling, the pillars of stone lining most of the room, and the bulge of rock straight ahead.  

“That’s where we’re going,” Warren said, turning and pointing to the top of the bulge. 

“And that’s where the treasure is?”  Yuri wasn’t sure if there even was a treasure, but Warren was convinced of it.  There had been some outlaws twenty years back who stole a million gald’s worth of jewellery.  They were arrested but refused to divulge the location of the stolen goods.  Warren claimed to have found a map of this cave system next to the more widely-used weasand and believed it was where they’d stashed their haul. 

“Should be.  I plotted out a route to the most likely location.  It’s a bit of a long trek, so stick close to me.  You don’t want to get lost down here.  You take the wrong passage and it might lead you miles and miles underground with no way out.”

“Alright.  It should take a couple hours to get there and back, right?”

“Yeah.”  He plucked a glowing plant from the ground.  “These plants are the most reliable light now that we can’t use lux blastia, by the way.  Grab one for yourself, because there’s nothing but darkness ahead.  After you pick it, it should keep glowing strong for about twelve hours, and gradually fizzle out over the next twelve.

“Got it.”  Yuri grabbed a stem and pulled. He’d packed a lantern expecting to use it, but this was even better.  Yuri twisted the stem around his wrist and tied it off to free up his hands.  “Up we go?”

“Yep.  You’re going to want to leave your sword here, though.”

Yuri reflexively held it closer to his body.  Why?”

“I mean, you don’t _have_ to, but I think you’re going to want to.  I wouldn’t want to try squeezing through some of these passages with a long, unbending piece of metal.”

Yuri wanted to say it would be fine, but then he considered it.  Warren had a point.  Reluctantly, he set his sword on a low shelf of rock. 

Warren approached the bulge of rock from the side and used the wall to help him scramble up.  Yuri, not to be outdone, went to the other side of it so he could climb at the same time and met Warren at the top only a few seconds later.  Warren gave him a quick nod and then slid head first into the crack.

This was where Yuri hesitated.  He’d crawled into the cave and he’d climbed up a rocky wall, but that was no different than some of the squeezes he and Flynn had played in as kids.  The crack was about a foot and a half high but four feet wide.  The only light was Warren’s glowing plant moving ahead.  This was going to be a bit of a pinch, but he wasn’t about to turn back now.

Flat on his stomach, Yuri crawled in. His head bumped the ceiling and he quickly lowered it, chin grazing the gritty floor.  It was impossible to crawl on his knees, so he put his arms forward and dragged himself along.  The roof came lower as he went, until stone rubbed both his back and his stomach and he was grateful he’d grown up hungry to be this skinny. 

What if he got stuck in here?  Yuri couldn’t keep that thought from creeping in. What if the crack narrowed so much that his body got wedged between stone and he couldn’t get out?  Warren’s light kept him from freaking out at the thought.  This was why you didn’t go spelunking alone.  If he got stuck, there was someone to pull him out. 

The passage through the crack got progressively narrower, until Yuri’s arms came out into open space.  He grabbed the lip of the wall and pulled, wriggling out of the crack in the wall.  As soon as his chest made it out, he took a deep breath of cold, still air now that his lungs could properly expand. 

“You alright?” Warren asked, turning back.

Yuri slithered to the ground and then got to his feet and dusted himself off.  “I’m not hurt or anything.”  Spelunking, he decided, was not the hobby for him.  He was a man of action and freedom, at home under the sky and breathing the fresh air.  He could not for the life of him see the appeal of crawling in the earth like a bug. 

“This is the cathedral room.”  Warren turned again and held up a hand to let the faint green light of his plant spread over the room.

Yuri finally directed his attention away from how uncomfortable the crack had been to take in the soaring ceiling and stalactites bigger than he was.    Or… maybe they were stalagmites.  He could never remember which was which, and made a note to ask Estelle the next chance he had.  The cavern was as big as the audience chamber in Zaphias castle, and lined in as many pillars. 

“Whoa.”  His voice resonated in the cavernous room.  To think that a space like this existed hidden below the world, accessible only through a narrow crack in the wall… ok, maybe he could comprehend the appeal of spelunking a little bit. 

“Impressive, isn’t it?”

The green light made eerie shadows that flickered every time they moved.  They were far enough from the surface to have lost any hint of sound or light, making it easy to detect the faint trickling of water from further in the cave.  The room was grand, but also a little spooky.  “Is this where the treasure is?”

“No, it’s further in.  This is still too close to the entrance; explorers might stumble across it.  C’mon, it’s this way.”

Warren led Yuri through a crevice in the wall.  This one was vertical rather than horizontal, and Yuri sidled through until they reached another opening. He remembered what Warren had said about getting lost down here and was careful to stick close behind him as they journeyed deeper and deeper into the cave.  They passed through tight tunnels that required him to suck in what little gut he had, and scrambled over boulders to reach higher passages.  Always, the darkness followed, pressing in around them and only barely held back by the eerie light of the glowing plants. 

When they had been travelling for almost an hour, it seemed to Yuri that the outlaws had been outrageously paranoid.  As he carefully climbed down a slopping tunnel, hopping from rock to rock and trying not to get to the bottom entirely too fast, he wondered why they would think they had to go _this_ deep to hide their stash?  Even hiding it in that very first room before they’d scaled the bulge would probably have been sufficient.

There probably was no treasure.  Warren might simply be a cave enthusiast who needed an excuse to get a partner to go into the cave with him.  Yuri wanted to turn back by this point, but he doubted he would be able to retrace their steps. 

At the bottom of the slope, they came out on a ledge.  There was enough space to stand upright, though he could have trailed his fingers over the ceiling.  The ledge itself was about ten feet wide, and Yuri approached the edge to check over the side.  Between the edge of the path and the far wall was a gap that varied from five to ten feet wide along its length, but his little plant light wasn’t strong enough to reveal the bottom.  It made him feel like he was staring directly into a pit to hell, and he pulled away before vertigo could take hold.

“We’re getting close.” Warren stopped near a stalagmite that almost reached his shoulder.  “Come here; I need to show you the route we’re taking.”

Yuri sighed and strolled across the ledge. When Yuri stood next to him, Warren pointed to an opening in the rocky wall ahead.   “It’s just through there.”

“Finally.”  If Warren had said they were only halfway there, he would have turned and left, risk of getting lost or no.  Yuri was about to start walking toward the opening when Warren suddenly moved in the corner of his eye.  A second later, Yuri heard a click and a metal band snapped on his left wrist.

“Hey!”  Yuri spun as Warren darted backward, out of his reach.  The movement caused his left arm to stretch awkwardly across his body.  “What the hell do you call this!?”  Yuri shook the handcuff, which was attached to a short chain that had been bolted to the stalagmite.  Based on the dusty cracks spreading from the site of the bolt, it looked recent.

“Sorry, Yuri.” Warren carefully stayed out of Yuri’s reach, even when he spun around again so he was facing Warren with his arm stretched behind him. 

“So much for the treasure, huh?  I can’t believe I fell for that load of crap.”

“You’ll be fine.  You’re just going to stay down here until I have a discussion with the commandant about a friend of mine he arrested.”

Yuri had to laugh.  “So your plan is to go to Flynn, admit to his face that you locked me up in a cave, and you see this working out well for you?”

Warren idly smiled and shrugged.  “What do you think he cares more about?  Throwing me in prison for my crime, or getting you out of here before this cave turns into a tomb?  Because I’m planning to mail him a letter with a detailed map and instructions for finding you once my friend and I are long gone.  He can either agree to that plan or try to find you on his own.”

“Flynn doesn’t negotiate with hostage-takers.”  Yuri spoke while fiddling with the cuff.  He already felt the bolt wiggle.  Warren must have come down here the other day to set this up, but he’d been right when he said the cave was fragile.  The stalagmite had not taken kindly to getting metal hammered into it, and already chips of stone felt as he twisted it. 

“We’ll have to see about that.  My information tells me he can be a bit more lenient on his principles when you are involved.   I’d guess you have… four or five days before dehydration kills you, so we’ll see how the time limit affects his judgement.”

Yuri muttered, “Of all the….”  He hated how correct Warren was. 

“Sit tight.  There are no monsters down here, and the knights will be here to get you out as soon as Flynn agrees to my demands.”  He turned and began walking back the way they had come.

Yuri swore under his breath and turned his attention to the bolt in the stone.  It was already loose, and more chips of rock fell away the more he jiggled it.  The bastard should have thought this one through more.  With one last yank, he loosened the bolt enough that he could slide it out of the rock.  Dust rained onto his shoes as he turned and ran after Warren.

The plan was simple: tackle the guy and force him to guide Yuri out of here.  If Warren planned to leave this cave, Yuri was following him. 

He lunged at Warren just as he turned back.  They both fell to the ground in a flurry of limbs.  Yuri registered receiving punches, but was more focused on delivering them.  Warren grabbed the chain of the cuff still attached to Yuri’s wrist and yanked, throwing him off balance.  Yuri’s shoulder hit the ground and Warren started to get up., but Yuri’s hand shot out to grab his knee and pull him down.  Warren fell on top of Yuri and they rolled again. 

Yuri kicked, Warren punched, they panted for breath and struggled to get the upper hand.  The light from the plants tied around their wrists careened over the walls of the cave and made it hard to follow what was happening.  Yuri could barely tell where they were, only that he was on top and gaining the upper hand. Warren’s face was bloody and he snarled as he grabbed the collar of Yuri’s shirt and twisted.  Both of them tumbled to the side and then –

They kept tumbling.  They separated as they toppled over the side of the ledge.  The world spun as Yuri rolled, slid, and bounced down the steep stone wall of the chasm.  All he could think to do was pull his arms over his head and hope for the best as he fell into darkness. 

Yuri didn’t quite pass out, but there was a long period of motionless silence as he lay on the ground and caught his breath after he finally stopped moving.  What… what had happened?  The entire tumble off the ledge had taken only a few seconds, but he felt like a week’s worth of pain had been dumped on his lap.

He was alive.  That was one thing he knew for certain, and he knew that hadn’t been a given.  So, ok, starting out on a high note.  He could breathe relatively easily, so the pain in his chest hadn’t punctured a lung.  Still good. 

But his leg.  Oh, damn, his _leg_.  It felt like a porcupine had burrowed under his skin and begun thrashing.  Yuri tentatively sat up enough to stretch his arm out and feel it through his pant leg.  First, touching his knee had angered the porcupine and almost made him black out.  Second, he was pretty sure his knee cap shouldn’t squish like that.  He didn’t even want to try poking further down, because he could _feel_ the bones out of alignment and pressing sharply against muscles.  

Yuri groaned and managed to sit upright.  Pain ran like water down his spine.  His head throbbed and his right elbow was stiff.  Yuri raised his other arm to spread the light and try to make sense of where he was.

From the bottom of this crevice, he couldn’t see the top. He lay at the U-shaped bottom of the crevice on uneven rock, with smaller stones that had cascaded down with him littering the floor.  The cuff on his wrist had cracked open at some point in the fall and the chain poked out from under a pile of rock.  His backpack had fallen off and sat on the ground a few feet away.  And past that….

Yuri winced.  Necks were not supposed to bend at that angle, though he couldn’t say he felt a lot of sympathy for Warren’s corpse at the moment.  Except… if Warren was dead, who was going to travel back to Nordopolica and tell Flynn Yuri was down here?

Yuri lowered himself back down, feeling every movement creak through his aching joints.  This was no time to panic.  Karol and Judy knew he was down here, after all.  At least… they knew he was going to a small cave in the Mother Cados mountains.  The entrance to the cave itself had been tricky to find, and navigating to this chasm was even harder. They wouldn’t even be able to see him down here without a strong-enough light.  They would realize he was missing when he didn’t come back this evening, but how were they ever going to find him?

Warren had deliberately led him to a spot where he was the only person who could possibly lead help to Yuri, and now he was dead. The prospects of rescue were slim, and even if they did find him, he wouldn’t be able to do any of the climbing or crawling required to get out with his leg in this state.  Was it even possible to drag a body though those tight squeezes? 

 _Don’t panic._ Yuri forced himself to take long, slow breaths through his nose to fight off the rising fear.  Flynn did the impossible; that was his _thing_.  He would find a local caver who also knew these tunnels and lead a rescue operation to find Yuri.  When he realized Yuri was too badly injured to get out by himself, he’d send someone to get Estelle to use her artes to fix his leg.  It was going to be fine. 

Yuri lay motionless for a long time because moving hurt.  He stared at the darkness that lay beyond his bubble of light and tried to get his eyes used to seeing nothing.  It would be better if there was something to look at; it would distract him from the raging pain in his broken leg. 

 _Flynn is coming_ , Yuri said to himself.  He needed to lie here, try not to jostle his broken bones any more than necessary, and wait for Flynn.  Maybe it was good that he was injured, because it forced him to lie still and wait for help rather then trying to find his way out on his own and likely getting even more lost.  Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

 

 Yuri wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, and had no idea how long he’d been there when he awoke again.  All he knew was that in the intervening hours, all his injuries had settled in for the long haul.  Maybe he shouldn’t have lain here motionlessly. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to sit up.  Every muscle screamed, even the ones he didn’t know he had.  Once upright, he panted for breath and clutched the ground with his left hand to stabilize himself.  His right elbow was too tender to support weight.  He wasn’t sure if it was broken or sprained, but supposed it didn’t matter right now. 

How long had he been asleep?  Fear rushed through him: what if he’d slept through Flynn’s rescue mission?  What if Flynn, Karol, and Judy had been calling his name, walking along the top of the ledge and searching, but didn’t find him?  What if he’d slept through his only chance at rescue?

Panicked eyes fixed on Warren’s corpse, glowing green in the faint light.  Ah, the light!  It was still glowing as bright as he remembered, which meant it must be less than twelve hours since he’d picked it.  There was no way Flynn could have been alerted he was missing and found the cave in so little time.  The rescue expedition was still coming. 

Relief soothing him, Yuri scooted back so he could lean against the wall.  The movement sent agony through his leg, but once he could lean back, the rest of his body appreciated the reprieve. 

So.  He’d been down here for less than twelve hours.  There was nothing to do but sit tight and wait for Flynn, frustratingly exactly what Warren had intended in the first place.  Yuri stared at the shadows formed on the rough rock a few feet away and sighed.  He hated sitting around and doing nothing. 

* * *

When Yuri’s stomach began to grumble, he knew he had probably been down here for about five hours.  That was surprising, because with nothing to do but stare at the wall, it felt like it had already been a day.  Yuri longed for some paint just for the thrill of watching it dry. 

He backpack still lay on the ground not too far away.  Yes, there was food in there!  He’d packed a sandwich for the trip back.  His eyes locked on the pack and then he leaned forward, straining his arm to reach it.  

“C’mon….” 

He couldn’t quite make it.  His stomach growled again and Yuri took a deep breath, preparing for pain.  He dragged himself a few inches to the left and clamped his teeth together to hold in a whine of pain.  His leg throbbed and he gasped as he lunched for the backpack.  As soon as he had dragged it toward him, he leaned forward to clutching his leg as if he could slam a lid on the escaping agony. 

Yuri closed his eyes and took long, slow breaths until the pain of moving eased into a background buzz.  Only then could he concentrate on anything else long enough to fiddle with the buckle of his backpack.  This was also difficult, because it felt like he was wearing a super-heated doughnut encircling his right elbow and didn’t want to do anything with that arm but hold it close against his body, so it took a minute of fumbling with one scratched and sore hand to get the bag open.  After all that work, Yuri thought he would feel more triumphant when looking at the sandwich wrapped in a handkerchief.  Instead, he found uncertainty.  Yuri’s grumbling stomach wanted him to eat this sandwich and down a mouthful of water from his canteen, but the brain that could think ahead wondered when his next meal would be. 

“It’s probably about evening by now,” Yuri said to the darkness to cut the silence.  “Karol and Judy are expecting me back in Nordopolica by now.  They’re probably checking the clock and expecting me any minute.  Of course,” he turned his head to look at Warren’s corpse.  “Thanks to _someone_ , they’re going to be sorely disappointed.  So… let’s see, it will take an hour for them to get concerned that I’m late, two hours for them to worry enough to start asking around.  It will be too dark to start a search by the time they’re sure I’m still out here, so I can’t expect them to even begin looking until tomorrow.” 

Yuri sighed.  “Considering how long it took to get out here, how long it will take them to find the cave, and then how long it will take them to find me this deep… I can’t expect to see anyone for at least a day, maybe two.  And I have one sandwich.”  Yuri scowled at Warren’s corpse and wished he was still alive so Yuri could punch him.  “Thanks a lot.”

Yuri stared at the bit of sliced ham poking out from between the bread.  _Eat me_ , it called to him, but Yuri found himself in a painfully familiar situation.  He had hoped that he’d reached a time in his life when he would never again have to settle with being hungry now to avoid starving later, but he carefully tore off a quarter of the sandwich and wrapped the rest up for breakfast. 

“And fuck you, too,” he said to Warren before taking an angry bite. 

* * *

Yuri opened his eyes slowly.  Someone stood over him; had Judith thoughtfully stopped to drape a blanket over him?  Then Yuri remembered where he was, and blinked a few times.  What he’d thought was a person was just the press of shadows tricking his eyes.  His only company down here was a dead body.

Yuri groaned and shifted to try to get comfortable.  His neck ached from sleeping against the rock wall and his ass felt numb from sitting in one place for so long.  Stupidly, he tried to use both arms to re-position himself until a stab of pain reminded him of his busted elbow.  Letting out a long stream of profanity under his breath, Yuri clutched his arm to his chest and wiggled his hips to get more comfortable.  That set off the pain in his leg.

“Ugh… fuck!”  Yuri squeezed his fingernails into his palms so the sting would distract him from the pain. 

When he was finally settled, Yuri checked the time on his wrist.  The glowing plant still had light, but it was fading.  He guessed it was giving off only about half of what it had when he first picked it. 

“We picked these at noon,” he said to Warren.  “So, it would have begun fading around midnight.  To lose half its light by now… it’s probably about six in the morning, right?”

Warren didn’t reply. 

“That means it’s been long enough that I can have a bit more of this sandwich.”  And this was why he hadn’t eaten the whole thing last night, he told himself as he picked up another quarter.  He would have hated his past self this morning if he didn’t have some food to look forward to. 

After finishing his (depressingly small) breakfast, Yuri thought about his friends.  Either last night or this morning, Karol would have gone to the Knight’s encampment.  Yuri could picture him nervously asking to see the commandant, his fear for Yuri weakening his confidence.  Then Yuri imagined Flynn’s smiling face, putting Karol at ease, until Karol told him that Yuri was missing and Flynn’s smile would turn into a frown of concern. 

They must be searching for him by now.  Knights and guildsmen would be scouring the foothills for the entrance to the cave at this very minute.  Maybe they’d even found it by now!  Yuri had never been so thrilled to imagine knights coming for him. 

In the hope that someone was already in the cave and searching, he decided to yell.  “ _Hello_!” His voice bounced off the cavern walls.  “I’m here!  Heeeey!”

Naturally, there was no response, but that didn’t mean no one had heard him.  It was possible, maybe, that someone had heard his distant shout and changed their heading.  Yuri decided to wait another minute before shouting again.  Shouting at least made him feel actively involved his rescue, so he made a plan to shout for help every five minutes.  Eventually – hopefully soon – one of those shouts would get a response. 

* * *

 “Caving is a stupid hobby, anyway,” Yuri told Warren.  He hadn’t moved from his position slumped against the wall of the crevice, although he still hadn’t found a comfortable place to rest his head.  “At least with mountain climbing, there’s shit to see.  What are you going to see down here?  Rocks.  Darkness.  Bullshit.”

Even the joints that hadn’t been injured were stiff now and the cold crept into his bones.  It was the kind of chill that wouldn’t bother him if he was walking outside, but sitting still gave it a chance to gang up on him. 

The dying light made it feel colder, too.  Warren’s light, once shining from the other side of his body, was barely visible now.  His own pale green light barely reached Yuri’s toes, although at least he didn’t have to see his crooked leg anymore.  It must be noon. 

Yuri stared at his half a sandwich left.  Eat another quarter now, and trust he’d get rescued by tomorrow morning?  His stomach growled, complaining that eating only half a sandwich in the past twenty-four hours was not sufficient.  Yuri wanted to remind it that if he’d eaten the whole thing last night, he’d be even more hungry now, and that if he ate a quarter of it right now, there was a chance he’d be hungrier tomorrow.

Yuri folded up the sandwich and put it aside.  He could still smell the tantalizing ham.  For now, his problem was light.  This plant was not going to last much longer and he didn’t like the idea of being down here in total darkness. 

“Good thing I brought a lantern, huh?” Yuri pulled the lantern from his bag and frowned at the cracks in the glass.  The fall hadn’t done great things for it, but it should still work.  Next he got out the bottle of liquid paraffin and clumsily opened it while keeping his right arm pressed against his stomach. 

The scent of gas filled with otherwise sterile cave as he filled the lamp.  He frowned a little at how much paraffin he had left; there was only about an inch of liquid at the bottom of the bottle when he finished filling the lamp.  This would be fine; he would get rescued before it became a problem. 

With the lamp set up, he put it to the side to wait for the bioluminescent light to finally fail him.

* * *

Darkness didn’t fall, but creep.  Yuri put off turning on his lamp until he definitely needed it, and stared at the texture of the rock across from him.  So long as he could make out patterns in the rock, the light wasn’t dead yet. 

As he waited, he tapped a rock against the floor.  His voice had grown exhausted from shouting, so this was his plan to alert rescuers. _Clack-clack-clack_.  Pause.  The echo of the clacking stone filled the chasm.  _Clack-clack-clack_.  Pause.  Yuri checked the rock texture, but it wasn’t totally gone yet.  He could still see the wavy line of a bulging boulder, but only barely.

 _Clack-clack-clack_.  Pause.  Please come soon, Flynn.

 _Clack-clack-clack_.  Pause.  It was getting pretty dark.

Yuri closed his eyes and concentrated on clacking the rock.  The clacks were his lifeline, the only thing he had to signal to the world that he was down here.  His arm was sore from the repetitive motion, but falling silent felt like letting go of the life preserver while the ship was closing in. 

 _Clack-clack-clack_.  Pause. Yuri opened his eyes.

Nighttime wasn’t dark.  The sun didn’t really go away; it hid behind the hills and threw its remnants to the moon as a promise it would be back.   The castle dungeons weren’t dark.  When they turned the lights out, moonlight slid across the ground and spilled down the basement-level barred windows.  The closet in Flynn’s parents’ house, where they used to play hide and seek, wasn’t dark.  The windowless room had been the first place Yuri experienced being unable to see his hand in front of his face, but light waited on the other side of the door. 

Everything Yuri had ever thought of as ‘darkness’ was actually _darker_.  He’d experienced shade, dim light, or nighttime.  He’d never experienced _darkness_.  Darkness was more than the absence of light; it was a presence of its own.  It was the pressure that pushed against his eyes as they strained to see something – _anything_.  It was the cold cloak that draped over him, pinning him to the chasm floor, smothering the breath out of him. 

You couldn’t see an absence of something, but Yuri saw darkness.  And in the darkness, he saw a person. 

“Flynn?” 

It wasn’t Flynn, of course.  It wasn’t anyone.  The “person” was nothing but a subtle texture in the sea of darkness that flowed around him. Just as well - he’d be embarrassed if someone heard the level of hope in his voice.   

Yuri’s hand felt through the liquid blackness to find his matchbox.  He really missed lux blastia as he blindly felt for the rough strip on the box.   The sudden blaze of a tiny flame felt like a sunrise.  He quickly stuck the match into the lantern before it fizzled out.  Then, even though he knew there had been no one standing in the darkness, even though he was absolutely certain there couldn’t have been someone… Yuri had to check, just in case. 

There was no one in the crevice with him but Warren’s corpse.  As he already he knew, his only company down here was death. 


	2. Dark

Yuri really had to pee.  He’d put it off for hours, but he’d reached a point where the pressure demanded attention and he couldn’t hope for a rescue before it became a requirement. 

He considered his options.  His aching leg and sore muscles didn’t want to move for any reason, but the idea of sitting here in wet pants when he was already chilled to the bone was even more unappealing. 

Yuri laboriously rolled to the side and clutched the wall for support to get onto his knees.  Only one knee, actually, because the other hurt like a bitch and he didn’t dare put weight on it. 

Once relieved, Yuri struggled to do up the buttons on his pants with one hand.  He wobbled and his injured leg pressed into the ground.  Yuri felt the sensation of crunching in his shattered knee for a very long millisecond before pain burst to the forefront.  He gasped and fell against the wall, bumping his elbow and setting off fireworks on that side of his body as well. 

Yuri held his arm and leaned his shoulder against the wall, panting with his eyes shut.  This was not working.  Every time he nudged his leg or moved it at all, his broken bones got even more displaced and the pain got even worse.  He had to do something about this.  Bitterly, he thought of the sword he’d left behind at the entrance.  _I wouldn’t want to try squeezing through some of these passages with a long, unbending piece of metal_ , Warren had said.  First, Yuri felt like an idiot for falling for what was obviously a plan to disarm him.  Second, he would kill for a long, unbending piece of metal to use as a splint right now. 

As it was, he would have to make do with bandaging.  If he tied strips of fabric around the knee, it would at least help stabilize it, he hoped.  Yuri was not willing to sacrifice his own clothing for the cause, because hypothermia could kill him as well as a wound, but there was other fabric down here. 

Yuri stared at Warren’s body and considered his idea.  In the past, he wouldn’t have thought anything of this.  Clothes were too expensive to throw away, so unless someone had a particularly bloody  death, people in the lower quarter got buried in a sheet and their clothes passed on.  Yuri had grown up just assuming that anything he was wearing upon death would be stripped off of him and handed over to the most needy. 

It had been a bit of a culture shock to discover that his friends didn’t see death this way.  Estelle had been scandalized when he took the jacket off a slain highwayman, even though that same highwayman had tried to kill her only minutes earlier. 

“It’s robbing the dead, Yuri!” she’d protested, hands over her mouth, as Yuri crouched over the body.

“But… I mean, it’s a good jacket.  Seems like a waste of the tailor’s effort to bury it.”

Yuri had taken the coat, though he didn’t wear it often because Estelle wore a funny look whenever he did.

Yuri now dragged himself on his stomach to Warren’s body.  He winced at the unnatural twisting of the neck, but pushed past the discomfort to find a knife on his belt.  “And you know what?” Yuri said to the darkness.  “I don’t even feel bad about this.”  He pulled out the knife and sliced from the hem to the collar of Warren’s shirt. 

He didn’t feel bad about it.  There was no such thing as respect for the dead in survival situations, and Warren had brought this on himself by dragging Yuri into this.  He grit his teeth as he used his injured arm to pull the fabric taut as he sliced off the sleeve. 

There was nothing to feel guilty about, he knew, but he couldn’t help but feel that someone was judging him.  As he tugged the shirt away, the feeling of being watched became so strong that he stopped, let Warren’s body slump back into place, and checked over his shoulder.  The way the shifting light from the tiny flame fell on the rock wall created the illusion of a figure in black lurking where he’d lain and it startled him so much that he jolted.  Yuri hissed from the pain the movement caused and blinked a few times to dispel the illusion. 

Annoyed with himself, he turned back to Warren, shoved his body with his good arm and dragged the shirt out with his throbbing arm.  “Oh, shut up,” he said to the invisible presence in the cave.  “He’s dead.  It’s not like he’s going to get cold.”

With the fabric in hand, Yuri rolled onto his back and then sat up to lean against the wall.  He was past being shocked by how much every movement hurt his leg. He made a small cut in the hem of the shirt to get it started and then ripped.  “I should appreciate the luck I have.  If I was Flynn, with my right arm busted, I’d be out of luck.”  Memories of Flynn trying to sword fight with his left arm crossed his mind.  They’d laughed, Yuri had teased him, and Flynn had said he was jealous of Yuri’s ability to use his left.  Damn, Yuri wished he could be back there right now. 

When he had enough bandages made, Yuri carefully wound a strip around his elbow, using his teeth as a third hand.  Once that was done, he moved on to his leg and wound bandages around his knee until it couldn’t move. 

“Estelle would be horrified by this.”  Yuri didn't even both pulling up his pant leg to check how purple and swollen his leg was, partly because it was so swollen that the pant was tight.  He didn’t even know if bandages without a splint would do any good, but it made him feel like he was taking control of the situation.

He was probably doing all this for nothing, though.  It had been at least a day by now, so Karol, Judy, and Flynn would be showing up by tomorrow morning to get him out of here.  Then this nightmare would be behind him and he’d never so much as go into a basement again. 

* * *

Yuri missed his ham sandwich.  Eating a quarter of it at a time had felt like so little, but sounded like a feast now.  Yuri lay on the ground with his backpack as a pillow.  He was tired, so he assumed it was night again.  His sandwich was long gone and his canteen only had a few mouthfuls of water left. 

He’d really hoped to see his friends today.  Tomorrow… they would be here tomorrow. 

His flame sputtered and gave him a second of darkness before it gasped for life.    Yuri turned his eyes to the bottle of paraffin and considered refilling the lamp.  He wasn’t afraid of the dark, of course not, but… but he really wanted to stay in the light.   There was no point in wasting the limited paraffin he had if he was going to be asleep, though.  His friends would be here by morning, but he had to be smart.  So, he closed his eyes and waited for the light to die. 

Going to sleep hungry was familiar territory for Yuri.  He hoped to fall asleep soon so that the hunger pangs would go dormant for a few hours.  He breathed slowly, shivered from the cool air, and waited for sleep to take him.

The lantern died.  Yuri opened his eyes, and then wondered if he did.  The darkness lay over his face and crushed his chest.  There was also something… else.  The gaze that had watched him strip Warren’s shirt returned, swimming through the shadows. 

“I know there’s no one down here,” he announced to the void.  He scanned the space and, as expected, found nothing.

As Yuri closed his eyes to fall asleep, he considered that there was a big difference between detecting no one, and being alone. 

* * *

 _Clack… clack… clack…._   The rock was heavy.  How long had he been down here?  At first, he’d been able to guess the time based on how long it took to get hungry again.  He hadn’t eaten since… what was probably yesterday, and had no frame of reference for how long he’d slept. 

Yuri stared at the tiny light of his lantern.  He’d lit it as soon as he woke up, but it was getting low again.  What if his friends didn’t come before he ran out of paraffin?  Last night, he’d dreamt that he was locked in a trunk, struggling to get out, while an unknown presence watched him through the keyhole.  The thought of being left in the dark down here made him shiver. 

What if Flynn wasn’t coming?  In fact, he probably wasn’t.  Joining a guild meant forgoing your rights as an imperial citizen.  Knights didn’t come to the aid of guild members. Even if Flynn personally wanted to help, he couldn’t break Knighthood policy to send his troops after a guild member.  Once, Yuri had been impressed with Kaufman’s resolve to forgo knight protection for the sake of her principles, and he’d been proud to form a guild and have that resolve himself.

Something Raven had once said came back to him: _Convictions and resolve don’t mean much to a dead man_. 

“If you come get me, Flynn… I’ll join the Knights again,” Yuri muttered while gazing up.  He willed his voice to fly out of the cave and reach Flynn.  “Then this will be a Knight issue, right?  So you can justify coming to get me.”  He hated the idea of falling in line with the Knighthood again, but, damn, it was better than wasting away in a dark pit, wasn’t it? 

It was his own fault he was down here.  He should have vetted Warren more closely before accepting the job.  He should have insisted that Judith come along with him.  He should have ensured Karol had a map of the cave before he came down here.  Yuri swore that if he got out of here – _when_ he got out of here – he would be more cautious.  Let this be a learning experience, not a comeuppance. 

Yuri tried not to think about the possibility of dying down here.  He didn’t want to sit here imagining what dying of dehydration felt like while his stomach roared for a meal and every shiver sent pain skittering down his bones. 

* * *

 

It was back.  Yuri didn’t even know what ‘it’ was, but it stood near Warren’s body on the edge of his pool of light.  All he could make out was a tall, vaguely humanoid figure draped in shadows.  Yuri was stubbornly not looking at it, because it was probably just his imagination. 

Yuri eyed the remnants of paraffin in the little bottle.  Based on how long it took to burn through the oil the last time he filled the lamp, he guessed he had maybe twelve hours of light left.  That would certainly be enough, because his friends were going to show up _any time now_. 

But if it wasn’t….  Yuri was going to need to start conserving his oil.  He already had the wick lowered as much as possible to prolong its burn.  He hated turning the light out, but the thought of not being able to turn it on if he really needed it freaked him out even more. 

That wasn’t going to happen.  Flynn wasn’t coming, but Karol and Judy were still on their way.  Maybe Natz or Kaufman or any of his other guild associates would be willing to help, too.  Raven had planned to be in town, and Raven would absolutely join the search effort.  So many people were looking for him; he’d get out soon.

Just in case, though, he ought to put out his light.  He didn’t need it right now, and he should conserve it to make sure he had oil left to get his friends’ attention, or if he needed to redo the bandages on his knee.  Yuri knew this logically, but he still hesitated with his fingers on the knob. 

“C’mon, stupid.”  His voice came out hoarse through his parched throat.  “You don’t need a nightlight.”  He turned the light out.

 _It_ swept closer.  Yuri felt its presence closing in behind him, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.  The presence was so immediate that without thinking, he snatched his matchbox from the ground and was halfway to striking one before he caught himself.

“There’s nothing in the cave, Yuri.”  His own voice seemed so loud in the silence.  “You’re letting yourself get spooked.”  He could still feel it though – that horrible sensation that someone was right behind you.  “Stop being ridiculous.” 

He waved his uninjured arm behind his back and was relieved to find only empty space.  “There, see?  You were really going to waste more oil over some nerves.”  He put the matchbox away and tried to pretend he couldn’t feel _it_ standing beside him. 

* * *

Yuri lay on his back to let the void press him into the ground.  In the absence of light, his eyes sought colour in the darkness and filled his vision with swirls of deep red and flashes of purple.  It was better to keep his eyes closed.  When they were open, and had nothing to do but stare into the inky depths of the cave, they strained against his skull.  It was like his foot reaching for a landing that wasn’t there, and the way the muscles strained to find purchase.

And then he heard his name.  Yuri bolted upright so suddenly that he gasped in pain.  His name drifted through the cave, bouncing off walls. 

“I’m here!”  That was Karol’s voice, he was sure of it.  His hand slapped the ground, fumbling for the matchbox.  “Karol!  Down here!”  His voice was so much quieter than he wanted it to be.  He was starving, so thirsty his throat had turned to sandpaper, and more exhausted than anyone who’d spent a couple of days lying around had any right to be.  “Hey!”  His voice cracked and fizzled out halfway through the word. 

Shaking hands had to try three times to light a match before he got one going.  The sudden blaze of light sent the dark figure retreating into the depths of the chasm, but Yuri barely paid it any heed.  He lit the lantern and twisted the knob, exposing as much of the wick as possible and creating a light so bright it hurt his eyes. 

“Karol!  Judy!”  Why wasn’t his voice louder?  He strained to put strength into it.  “Here!  I’m here!” 

His name echoed from the distance.  He couldn’t tell how far away they were, and when he heard it again, it seemed to come from a different direction.  The word got thrown about and squeezed through the cave’s twisting passages. 

 _They’re coming_ , he told himself with his neck craned back to gaze toward the ledge.  Any second now, he’d see a light and Karol’s face peering over the edge.  It might take a while for them to coordinate the materials needed to carry him out of this pit, but as long as they knew he was down here, this nightmare would be over. 

He waited and waited for them to appear.  Yuri picked up his rock and resumed tapping it on a boulder.  _Clack-clack-clack_.  Hurry up.  _Clack-clack-clack_.  Where were they?

What if he hadn’t heard his name after all?  Yuri brought the rock down and let it rest.  His bicep burned after keeping up the repetitive movement for so long.  He’d been half-asleep and daydreaming when he heard it.  What if that hadn’t been Karol at all, and this whole excitement was over nothing?

But he’d heard his name.  He was sure of it.

…Wasn’t he?

He played the memory back of all the times he’d heard it drifting through the cave and tried to decipher how clear and solid it was.  The memory had the fuzzy, insubstantial quality of things heard in a dream, and he couldn’t say for sure if Karol and Judy had actually been calling for him or if he’d imagined the whole thing. 

It must have been his imagination, Yuri decided as he turned the knob on the lantern down to its lowest level to preserve oil.  It was better to imagine he was hallucinating, because that meant Karol and Judith were still to come.  Because… because if he _had_ heard his name, and it now felt like an age since he’d last heard it… then that meant they’d passed him by.  It meant they’d come down here searching and left empty handed.  It meant they probably thought they’d found the wrong cave and weren’t coming back.  It meant a rescue wasn’t coming.

Yuri closed his eyes and whispered, “Please come back.” 

 _I’d guess you have… four or five days before dehydration kills you_.  How long had it been?  Yuri was so thirsty his head throbbed.  He’d been annoyed with the hassle of peeing on the rocks down here, but it had been ages since he last had to go.  His stomach had long since stopped growling, he wasn’t as cold anymore, and even the pain in his leg seemed to have ebbed, but the first aid training he’d received in the Knights warned him that these were symptoms serious dehydration. 

The light sputtered.  The lamp was almost out of oil and Yuri glanced at the bottle.  He didn’t have much left, and his supply of matches was dwindling, too.  He hadn’t heard anything from his friends – if he’d even heard it at all – for at least half an hour now.  They weren’t coming, and he couldn’t afford to waste light. 

Yuri turned it off, and the presence slid in beside him as darkness fell.  It was odd, he knew, but the presence didn’t frighten him.  The hairs on his right arm prickled from the sensation of someone sitting right next to him and he knew this ought to freak him out, but the knowledge that he wasn’t completely alone down here was almost comforting.  What really worried him was that he was starting to suspect who _it_ might be, and he didn’t like what that meant. 

Yuri closed his eyes so they would stop straining for any light to latch onto.  He pulled his right leg up and leaned forward, resting his throbbing forehead on his knee.  Sitting upright like this made him dizzy. 

It had never occurred to him that it could end like this.  Yuri had always assumed that if he didn’t make it to old age, it would be because he’d been struck down by some monster or killed in battle.  He’d thought it would be quick and valiant.  The idea of slowly withering away in a dark cave, growing weaker and weaker until his body shut down, and left to rot where nobody would ever know what happened to him didn’t sit right.

“I don’t want to die like this,” he whispered.

He heard an echoing voice again, but this time it was his own and it rang through his head from the depths of memory: _Tell me, how many times have you heard those very words?_

Maybe this was his overdue punishment for the things he did to Ragou and Cumore and he _deserved_ to waste away down here.  He wasn’t a good person. Why should he expect a rescue? 

Gods didn’t go far in the lower quarter where life was too difficult and depressing to support belief in a benevolent deity, but he’d grown up with half-heard stories of goddesses.  Wasn’t there a goddess of victory supposedly watching over the Coliseum?  Maybe there was a goddess who watched over caves, or darkness, or lost travellers, or anything that might apply to him.  Maybe that goddess could influence a rescue party.

 _Get me out of here_.  It wasn’t the best prayer he’d ever heard, but it wasn’t bad for a first try.  He squeezed his eyes shut and imagined the feel of the sun on his face.  His chest panged with longing.  He pictured himself shivering in the blinding white of Zopheir and trudging through the burning sands of Kogorh, and both of those seemed like heaven compared to this empty pit.  _If anyone out there is listening_ , he thought as loudly as he could, _get me out of here.  Uh, please.  Send me to the freezing north.  Send me to rejoin the Knights.  Send me to a prison cell in Zaphias to pay for what I’ve done. Anywhere but here!_

* * *

 

“It’s pretty pathetic of me to keep hoping for a rescue, huh?”  Yuri addressed the black-cloaked figure that lurked at the edge of his pool of light.  Under its hood was nothing but darkness.  “I spent my whole life rejecting help from others….  I joined a guild and surrendered the right to assistance from the Knights.  I’m not… a good person.”

Death did not reply.  It hadn’t said a word since he became aware of it and Yuri didn’t expect it to start now.  It didn’t even make a movement to indicate that it had heard him, but Yuri liked talking to it anyway.  It felt less crazy than talking to himself, and he didn’t like staring at Warren.

Warren’s body was remarkably fresh, given he’d been dead for at least a few days now.  It made sense, Yuri supposed.  With no light and no water, hardly anything grew down here.  He only wished Warren’s body had become a festering pile of maggots, because maggots were protein.  But there were no maggots, and the only protein down here other than himself was… well….

“Is cannibalism a crime?” Yuri wondered aloud.  “I mean, I know it’s morally screwed up, but is it actually illegal?  Flynn would know… wish he were here.” Yuri tried to lick his parched lips, but his tongue felt like sandpaper.  “Not that something being a crime has ever been a major factor in my deciding to do something.” 

That was his problem, wasn’t?  He decided whether it was ok to do something based on what he, personally, thought was just and didn’t care what the rest of society had to say.  That was why he’d killed Ragou and Cumore, and that was why he was being punished in the depths of the earth. 

“Doesn’t matter.  I don’t want to eat Warren.”  His stomach felt like a pit emptier than the void he was trapped in.  Warren's body was probably full of fluids, too.  Yuri couldn’t stop imagining blood flowing over his lips, bringing moisture to his leathery tongue.  He was… _so_ thirsty and _so_ hungry.  “He probably tastes like crap.”

Yuri absently rubbed his aching elbow, and when a scene of himself chewing on meat from Warren’s leg wouldn’t leave his mind, he squeezed until the sharp pain made him gasp.  His brain flashed white; bleach poured over disgusting images. 

“Would it be morally wrong, though?  This is a survival situation.  It’s not that different from taking his clothes, is it?  He doesn’t need his body any more, and I’m dying here.”  He cringed and hated that he was even starting to justify it.  Yuri closed his eyes and shook his head, but stopped quickly because it set off his dizziness. 

“Doing something bad in order to keep living is ok because keeping a life around is a greater good than respecting the dead.  But… I think that only applies to good people.  What greater good is served by me getting out of here?”  Apparently he wasn’t even important enough for his friends to search for him.

That wasn’t true, he stubbornly told himself.  Karol and Judy were coming, they _were_.  He just needed to hold out a little longer.

“Kicking a dog to save the life of a little kid is justifiable.  Kicking a dog to save Cumore is horrible.”  It all depended, then, on if Yuri was closer to the Cumore end of the scale, or the innocent kid end. 

Yuri looked to Death.  Its silent presence offered no answers.  “Should I take it as a hint that you’re… you, and not an angel?”

He sighed and closed his eyes again.  “Stop talking to the hallucination, Yuri.”

* * *

Nobody was coming to rescue him.  They probably thought there was no way he was still alive down here anyway and gave up on him, if they’d ever cared enough to look in the first place.  His guild didn’t have time to crawl around a cave looking for one useless bastard, Flynn didn’t have the resources to send knights after him, and nobody else in the world would care if another sinner disappeared off the map.

Well, fuck them. 

Yuri sat in utter darkness, but he could sense Death standing beside him.  It was to Death that he addressed his rambling.  “They’re not coming.  Even though it’s their fault.”  His voice was scratchy and weak.  “Karol’s supposed to be the boss, isn’t he?  What kind of boss lets a guild member gallivant off without knowing exactly where they’re going?  Who let the little kid be the boss anyway?”  The flash of righteous fury warmed his core more than the chill cave had done in days. 

“And of course Judy was busy.  She should have come with me.  She should have insisted I wait for her.”  His heart stirred.  Anger felt good.  “Fuck Flynn especially.  I bet he didn’t even try looking.  Best friends? Who gives a shit if it’s against Knighthood policy for a knight to help a guildsman.”  His right leg was pulled up so he could wrap his arm around it and rest his chin on it between bouts of fury. 

“I hate them.”  He thought for a moment. In that time, his rage slipped and despair peeked in.  “I hate them I’m never going to see them again.”  He let out a long, seething breath between clenched teeth.  “Why did nobody stop me from coming down here?  Why was I stupid and gullible?  Why are you just _standing there_?” 

Yuri threw out his arm to strike empty space.  The sensation of someone standing beside him dissipated, but reformed in front of him.  Yuri looked up, as if he could actually see the figure instead of the swirls of faint reddish colour formed by his eyes trying to find something to do.  “What do you want from me?!”  His voice cracked halfway through, but the first half had been impressively loud considering his exhaustion.  “If you’re going to kill me, just take me already.”

It was really starting to sink in that he was going to die down here.  The reality of it gave him more energy than he’d had in days.  Anger and indignation put fire in his belly.  He was going to die of stupid thirst in a stupid cave because his stupid friend sucked at searching. 

“And you’re just standing there,” he grumbled at the darkness.  “Are you taunting me? Mocking me?  Fuck you.”  Death was waiting for him, like buzzards circling a dying animal.  Couldn’t it at least have the patience to only appear when he was actually dead?  After sitting here, believing in the possibility of a rescue for so long, he hated to think that Death was going to win. 

“You think you’re so smart.  Showing up, uncalled for and unwanted, just… just _assuming_ you’ll be needed.  Bastard.”  He couldn’t let Death win.  That’s what it came down to.  His friends had abandoned him, he hurt so much he couldn’t even think about it anymore, and he wavered at the edge of consciousness at all times, but if he laid down and gave up, that stupid bastard would win. 

Spite joined the fury in his stomach, and it was enough to push him to sit upright.  “I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to collect your prize.”  He felt for his matches and lit one.  The tiny flash of light made shadows ripple over the fabric of Death’s robe only a foot from Yuri’s face.  He stuck it into the lantern and adjusted the wick to a low level.  Yuri stared at the light for a few seconds as he gathered his resolve.

Nobody was coming to rescue him.  That meant he had two choices: get out of here himself, or lie down and die.  One option would let the looming bastard beside him win, and he didn’t like that.  So, he was going to climb out of here.

Yuri stuck his matchbox into his backpack.  The bag had a strap that he used to tie around the handle of the lantern.  With hands shaking from cold and exhaustion, he tightened the bandages holding his shattered knee in somewhat of one piece.  He had no idea if this was even doing anything to help, but it felt better than doing nothing. 

His good arm clutched the wall and he struggled to stand upright.  He’d been on the ground for so long that standing sent a rush of dizziness hurtling through him that almost knocked him over again. Yuri slung his backpack over his shoulders, causing the lantern to swing around and send long shadows dancing over the walls. 

“Alright, then,” he said to Death.  “I’m heading out.  Don’t wait up for me.”

Did he know the route back to the surface even after he made it up to the ledge?  Yuri decided not to worry about that right now.  He grabbed an outcrop of rock and pulled himself up.  Yuri used his injured arm to grab another rock and stabilize himself long enough to reach up and grab another.  It felt like there were daggers in his elbow, but he pushed through it.  He had to let his weight hang from one arm as he moved his leg to the next foothold.  His broken leg bumped against the wall, and the thud of agony would have brought tears to his eyes if he had any liquid left. 

 _Come on_ , he said internally because he couldn’t waist energy on talking.  _Stick it to Death.  Show up at Flynn’s door and prove you didn’t need him.  Tell the guild what you think of their failure to find you_. 

He was making progress.  Everything hurt all the time now, keeping him in a constant drone that prevented sudden shocks of pain from rocking him.  _Stick it to everyone who gave up on you down here.  Rub your survival in the face of everyone who was quietly glad you disappeared_. 

Yuri clutched the wall and reached for the next handhold.  His fingers brushed the stone, and then his elbow gave out.  He only had a second to gasp, “No!” before he was sliding down.  Rock scraped his face and his limbs bashed against the wall as he tumbled down it for a second time.

Within seconds, he had reached the bottom of the chasm and rolled onto his side.  The pain in his broken leg had become excruciating and he had a dozen new scrapes and bruises from this trip down the cliff.  He couldn’t even move as he tried to catch his breath.  

Yuri closed his eyes.  He wanted to cry.  This had been his last, triumphant shot at getting out of here and now he was even more injured than before.  He really couldn’t climb up.  There was no way out.  No one was coming.  All he could do was lie there and let the hollow emptiness of realizing he was really, actually going to die here sink in. 

 _“Are you ready for the pain to end?_ ”

Yuri’s heart skipped a beat at the sudden voice.  He pried his eyes open and looked up to see Death standing over him, one arm reaching out.  It ended in a skeletal hand.  For a split second, Yuri thought, _yeah.  Yeah I am_.  He fought that urge down and tried to gather his wits.  It was hard to think straight through the ocean of pain he floundered in, but he managed to put together a coherent response. 

“Not… yet.”

The hand withdrew.  “ _I am here for you when you can no longer endure_.”

Yuri took a few long, slow breaths.  The longer he lay motionless, the easier it became to deal with the pain. “I’m not… done yet.”  At least, he didn’t want to be.  He desperately didn’t want to die here, but he couldn’t think of anything to do next.  For now, he just wanted to rest. 

* * *

“What… what actually happens when you die?”  Yuri had returned to his position slumped against the wall.  By now, the hard rock was familiar and almost comfortable. 

“ _Why do you ask this me?_ ” Death didn’t like standing in the light.  It remained just at the edge of his island of illumination. 

Yuri waved a hand at it.  “I mean… you’re you.  If anyone knows, I figured you would.”

“ _To die is to cease suffering_.”

“Not always.  Not for everyone.  Lots of people die who aren’t suffering at all.”  What about the Don?  He hadn’t wanted to die; it was forced upon him.  Maybe killing him even though he hadn’t wanted to die was why Yuri was stuck down here.

Death spoke again in its voice that sounded just this side of masculine, but only because Yuri felt the edge of his own voice eking through. “ _To live is to suffer_.”

“Boy, aren’t you fun at parties.  You’re starting to remind me of a guy I know.”

“ _Your lungs toil at every second to grasp oxygen from the world. Every breath seizes you back from the brink of death for only a minute longer_.”

“Well, that’s… I mean.”  Yuri was suddenly hyper-aware of every breath.  “It’s not _suffering_ to breathe.  And that doesn’t mean everyone who dies is grateful for it.  Believe me; I’ve pushed enough people through that doorway to think everyone is happy to be there.”

“ _There is a relief in dying_ ,” Death said.  “ _A relief in realizing you can stop fighting. A relief in being offered a chance to move on_.”

“Was Warren relieved to die?”  Yuri glanced over at his companion.  Damn, he was hungry. 

“ _In the moment he felt the pain and realized he was going to die, he was relieved when I took him_. _”_

Yuri imagined dying.  He’d done so many times over the years, especially in the midst of their journey, but it had never been both so close and so calm.  What would dying be like?  With how exhausted and sore he was, he imagined it would be falling asleep and not getting up again.  That… actually sounded pretty nice.  Every moment he was awake was, as Death had so eloquently described it, suffering.  The fire in his leg was too much to bear, so it sent it out to burn throughout his body, and that wasn’t getting into the internal ache of his desperation for food and water.  To just lie down… close his eyes, go to sleep and never wake up in this pit again….  It sounded nice.

“ _The magistrate Ragou, also, felt relief when I came to him bleeding out in the river_.”

Yuri looked up sharply.  “You know about Ragou?  Ah… obviously you know he’s dead, but you know about my connection to him?”

There was a slight incline in the shrouded head.  “ _I have walked beside you often, Yuri Lowell.  Each time you’ve encountered death, I also have encountered you._ ”

“Huh.  I guess that makes sense.  This time is the real deal, though, right?  That’s why I can see you.  You’re just waiting for me to give up so you can take me.”

“ _It is looking like that will be the case_.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” 

“ _The future is not yet decided.  I also was prepared to take you after your fall from the tower, and yet you still live_.”

“Great,” Yuri muttered.  He almost wished Death hadn’t given him that shred of hope.  It would be nicer to know for sure that he was definitely going to die so he could stop stressing about it.  “Answer this: if you take me, where will you take me _to_?”  Barbos had promised to meet him in hell, and Yuri was suddenly very keen to know how literal that expression was. 

“ _You must go beyond.  What is beyond… can only be known by the dead._ ”

“Is it different for everyone?  Do some go to a good place or a bad one, or does everyone just go off together?”

“ _You will have to discover this for yourself_.”

Yuri sighed.  Typical.  “Alright… you say you’ve been around every time I’ve been around death.  So, you know my sins pretty well.  Let’s say there are better or worse destinations.  Which one would I go to?”

“ _What do you think?_ ”

“If I knew what I thought I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“ _Do you fear discovering the answer?_ ”

Yuri snorted.  “Am I nervous about finding out if I’m going to hell?  Yeah, it’s on my mind a bit.”

“ _I cannot say.  I do not even know if differentiated fates exist.  I know only that all life must end, and that I will take it when the body can no longer bear its burden_.”

“A burden, huh?  Well, it will sure as hell be a significant burden to keep living after this.”  Yuri didn’t even want to think about what survival would entail.  There was Warren, tempting his empty stomach with the promise of being full.  There was the cave itself, telling him not to sink to that level because it wasn’t like he could get out of here anyway. 

He wasn’t going to try climbing up to the way they came again.  He was in even more pain now than the first attempt, and even less equipped to make it.  The next time, he would be lucky not to fall and break his neck.  If he was lucky, that would kill him instantly like Warren.  Knowing his luck, he’d linger. 

The only way out was to go deeper into the cave.  If he pressed on into the dark, he might come out in the Weasand eventually. 

There was another option, though.  He might wander deeper and deeper into the earth until his oil ran dry and he was lost forever in a darkness without end.  It would hurt, too.  Just moving around to fiddle with his lamp hurt his broken bones; he couldn’t imagine how painful dragging himself all the way to the Weasand would be.  He was weak from thirst and hunger, his head pounded, and all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep. 

He could stay here, lie down, and wait for Death to take him.  Or, he could put himself through hell searching for a tiny chance of getting out of here alive.  Was the struggle worth the possible reward?  Was his life _really_ that worthwhile that he should go through so much misery just for a small chance of getting it back?

“What do you think I should do?” he asked Death.  “Is it worth it to try to get out of here?”

“ _Do you wish to die?_ ”

He didn’t want to die… but he also didn’t want to crawl into the depths of the cave.  He was so worn out that those two desires were about equal.  What he really wanted was a drink, and the thought of exerting himself any more than necessary without getting one made the instinct-driven part of his mind ready to give up.  To be honest, after however many days it had been without food, water, or sunlight, a strong part of him was ready to just let it end. 

“It’s not about wanting to die, but… not wanting to keep suffering, like you said.  And I don’t know if the life I have out there is worth fighting this hard to get back.  I’m not exactly a good person.”

“ _I cannot tell you what to do.  If you decide to die, I will be here.  If you decide not to, I will be here when you are ready_.”

“Yeah… thanks, I guess.”


	3. Rise

Yuri had a dream that night… or day… or whatever time it was.  In his dream, he stood under the bright, warm sun.  It was nice.  He felt the breeze on his face and held out his hands to touch long grass. 

 _Ah_ , he thought.  _This is heaven_. 

Yuri strolled on strong legs through the meadow until the peace was broken by a yell.

“Yuri!” The voice boomed from all around, startling him to a stop.  “You… idiot!”

Yuri blinked and looked around.  “Karol?”

And then he woke up. 

It took a few seconds to realize he had opened his eyes because it made no real difference in the darkness.  “Karol…” he mumbled.  He pictured Karol’s face, and then pictured that face learning that Yuri was never coming back.  His heart panged.  He could almost hear Karol’s words echo around the cave: _Why would you even think of not coming back to us?! Don’t you realize how much we’ll miss you?_

If he didn’t make it out of this cave, Karol would be crushed.  Estelle would sob for days.  Flynn would put on a brave face while being thoroughly broken inside.  Would Repede even understand what had happened?  What if he thought Yuri had just abandoned him? 

“I have to get back to them,” his whispered.  “I can’t do this to them.”

“ _You’ve made a decision, then?_ ”

Yuri startled; he’d forgotten about his companion for a moment.  He couldn’t tell where the voice had come from, so he spoke to the dark in general.  “Yeah.  I have.”

Yuri was getting pretty good at lighting a match in the dark.  When the lantern was lit, he frowned at his empty bottle of oil.  He only had what was left in the lantern now… probably five or six hours at most.  _Good_ , he thought.  _This gives me no excuse to put off leaving_. 

Yuri picked up a smaller rock.  He inspected it to find the sharpest edge, and then turned to the boulder he’d been lounging against.  With a shaking hand, he scratched words into the stone… just in case.

_Yuri Lowell._

_Down here ~4/5 days. Out of food. Out of water._

_Going to try to find an exit._

_Tell guild Brave Vesperia, Dahngrest._

Yuri surveyed his message and then tossed the rock aside.  It would have to do, and it was unlikely anyone would find it anyway.

He tied the lantern to his backpack.  That was the only prep he had to do, because it wasn’t like he was overflowing with supplies down here.  He slipped it over his shoulders (wincing as he moved his arm enough to get it through the strap), and then took a deep breath. 

All he could see ahead of him was darkness.  It would be so much easier to sit here and let Death sweep him away to that lovely field of warm flowers, instead of crawling into that darkness and likely dying anyway.  But his friends were waiting, so he had to go.

Yuri rolled onto his stomach.  His leg hurt.  He reached out and dragged himself forward.  His leg _and_ his elbow hurt.  The movement had only taken him about a foot, but he had to keep going.  He pictured Flynn and Estelle’s faces if he died down here, gritted his teeth, and kept moving.

* * *

The crevice he’d landed in did not end in solid rock walls all around.  He’d been afraid of that, and had no back up plan for if that was the case, but luckily it narrowed near the end and turned into a tunnel.  Yuri hated to go even deeper underground, but it was the only way forward.

Yuri wormed his way through the rock for what felt like a lifetime.  The lantern on his back scraped against the ceiling and occasionally got stuck, but he didn’t dare turn it off.  Having to stop and fiddle around to squeeze it through was better then doing this in total darkness.  He tried not to think about what would happen if it got jammed so bad that he couldn’t work it through the gap, and his body was strapped to the backpack, immobilizing him in the dark tunnel….

Yuri stubbornly didn’t think about that. 

The rock ceiling bumped his head.  His light-headedness made it hard to navigate and every bump to the head worsened the effect.  Still, Yuri dragged himself onward.  It couldn’t even be called crawling because he couldn’t bear even an ounce of weight on his injured knee.

Pain lanced through his leg and it took him a second to catch his breath and realize it was because he’d tugged on it.  Yuri swore and tried to glanced over his shoulder, but the tunnel was too narrow to crane his neck back.  He nudged it with his uninjured foot and realized it had gotten caught on a rock.  If he could just twist his ankle, it would come loose, but that wasn’t happening. 

He tried to reach back with his good arm to try to finagle it, but the cave was too narrow.  His elbow hit a boulder that pressed against his hip and stopped him from reaching backward.  Yuri’s only option was to use his other foot to kick his ankle and then pull forward, making his toes scrape over the rock and the broken bones stretch apart. 

“Fuck!”  The shout was so much louder in the confined space, and neatly covered the horribly squelching noise his leg made as he dragged himself forward.  As soon as his leg was free, he stopped to catch his breath. 

“This was a great idea, Yuri,” he muttered and pressed his forehead onto his hand. 

“ _Do you regret your choice?_ ”

Yuri jolted in surprise, which hurt even more.  “Dammit!  Don’t sneak up on a guy like this!”

He couldn’t see Death now, but the voice had filled the cave around him.  He supposed that if he was a magical spirit, he wouldn’t force himself to materialize in such cramped quarters either. 

“No,” he growled and kept moving. 

There was no going back, Yuri knew.  The cave was far too narrow here for him to turn around, and with his broken leg, he wouldn’t be able to drag himself backward with his feet.  Even if he wanted to give up, he couldn’t go back to the cursed chasm.  He had to keep moving forward and pray it didn’t have a dead end.  If that happened… well, he’d rather not think about it.

Yuri decided to try some conversation to distract himself from the constant slog of painful dragging over rock.  “Hey, Death, I was wondering.  When people die, do they have time for you to say something to them?”

“ _I frequently exchange small words before they move on, yes_.”

“So… let’s say I die here.  Can I give you a message, and then when Flynn dies years from now, you can pass it on to him?”

“ _Yes.  That is acceptable._ ”

“You’ll remember to do it, even if he lives to old age?”

“ _Flynn Scifo will die very soon_.”

Yuri had to pause.  “He what now?”

“ _In the vast expanse of time since the first microbe faded from existence, the lifespan of even the eldest human is but a blink of an eye_.”

Relief rushed through him.  “Ah, right.  Hanging out with me is just a minor diversion for you, huh?”  He ducked his head under a ledge and wiggled into an even tighter stretch of tunnel. 

“ _It is comparatively no time at all._ ”

“That’s nice.”  He grunted as he twisted onto his side to squeeze through a tight gap.  “’Cause it… feels like a lifetime down here to me.  What’re you wasting your time here for, though?  Shouldn’t you be out reaping souls?”

“ _I am in many places.  I am at the deathbed of a woman in Zaphias who lived many long years.  I am on the sea floor as a starfish devours a mollusc. And, I am here with you_.”

“Lucky me,” Yuri muttered.    “Anyway, the favour I’d like from you is that when my friends die, just… let them know what happened to me.  Tell them I tried to get back to them.”

“ _I will do so_.”

“Thanks.”  Yuri slid forward, stone scraping over his shoulders.  The backpack straps tugged against him, refusing to move.  He reached back, but there wasn’t space to shuffle things around.  If he wanted to keep moving, he was going to need to lose the backpack. 

Yuri squeezed his arms up to push the straps down his shoulders.  Once he was out, he squirmed forward while the backpack remained lodged against the cave roof, and felt like a banana being squeezed out of the peel. 

But he made it.  He paused to catch his breath after freeing himself of the backpack, but didn’t wait long because he’d ended in an uncomfortable position squishing between rock.  Was it just his imagination, or was this tunnel getting progressively tighter?

Maybe it only felt more confined because of the dark.  His lantern was left behind and he knew there was no chance of reaching back for it.  His body clogged the tunnel too much for more than tiny gaps of light to get through. It hardly even deserved the word ‘tunnel’ at this point – a crack was more like it.  He was crawling through a tiny seam in the earth which might close off at any moment. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he told himself and reached blindly forward.  “If you worry about it, you’ll just….”  He grunted as he moved onward.  “Freak out.”

It was hard not to freak out, though.  He felt his way forward and moved slowly.  By now his muscles ached and every movement burned his arms.  His broken leg was nothing but a throb of agony and his elbow might as well be on fire.  Rock scraped his shoulder and a boulder pressed against his hips and threatened to pin him in place as he wriggled past it.

 _I hate this_ , he thought as he fought off another wave of pain from his broken knee.  _I hate this_.  Yuri felt forward, found a raised bit of rock, clutched it, and dragged.  _I hate this_. 

It became a mantra.  _I hate this_.  Drag.  _I hate this_.  Squeeze.  _I hate this.  I hate this. I hate this_.  It gave him something to concentrate on.  _I hate this_.  He grabbed a rock.  Pulled.

And didn’t move.

Yuri pulled again, but the rock overhead pressed him into the ground.  No….  He lurched forward, panic kicking in.  Stuck.  He was stuck!

“ _Damn_ it!” He couldn’t move.  The rock squeezed him like a vice.  “No, no, no, no….”  This was it.  He was trapped.  He could not get out. 

Yuri tried to scoot backward, but one exhausted leg was not strong enough to drag him out of the clamp of rock. The whole weight of the earth pressed down on him, threatening to crush him into a pulp.  He wished it would just to end it fast. 

“I never… really thought it would end like this.”  He felt like he was encased.  The seam was so narrow and tight that it pressed against him on all sides.  If he was as broad-shouldered as Flynn, he never would have made it this far at all. 

“I tried, though.  You have to tell them I tried.”

“ _I will_ ,” came the voice of Death. 

How long would it take to die?  At this point, he thought that the next time he passed out would be the last.  That was good, because another thought had occurred to him: caves were created by running water.  This tunnel was probably flooded during rain storms.  If it started to rain, the water would run through here.  He’d have nowhere to go but to sit here and wait for it to slowly rise to his face. 

Yuri shuddered at the thought.  It was good that he was going to die of dehydration before that could happen, although the desperate part of his brain enjoyed the idea of water hitting his face no matter what it would mean. 

“ _Are you ready?_ ”

Yuri hesitated.  Was he?

“ _If you wish to stop struggling, I can take you._ ”

The words waited on Yuri’s tongue: _Yes, please_.  Please, take him away from here.  Take him, because even if he was taken to hell, it couldn’t be that different than where he was now.  His friends would understand.  When they died, Death would tell them what had happened.  He didn’t have to worry about them; he could, for once, think only of himself and how much he wanted to be anywhere but here, even if that anywhere was death. 

Yuri had never let himself give up, and it sounded appealing to finally sit back and stop fighting.  He’d been on _go_ since childhood.  Turning the reins over to Death and seeing where it took him would be so… freeing. 

 _But I’ll never get to see Flynn again_. 

The thought struck him and then stuck around.  He wanted to give up so bad, but the urge to see Estelle’s smiling face again rose up within him, just as strong.  He didn’t want to keep struggling, but the thought of never seeing his friends again was horrible.  They would understand, he knew, and they would be able to come to terms with losing him… but that wouldn’t change the fact that _he_ wouldn’t get to spend an evening laughing with his guild mates again.

That was a pathetic reason to keep going, wasn’t it?  Not out of a sense of duty, not to make other people smile, but because he personally wanted to have fun with his friends.  Selfish and petty, maybe, but it was a tiny spark of motivation that seemed voluminous in this darkness. 

Yuri lay still.  He let out a tense breath.  His shoulders had made it through the squeeze, hadn’t they?  He’d overheard midwives in the lower quarter talking about difficult births, and knew that the shoulders were the toughest part.  Once they got through, the rest of the baby generally slid out.  Since he got his shoulders through, he must be able to get the rest of him.

He relaxed.  This was difficult because he’d never been more stressed in his life.  Yuri pictured himself as a boned fish, limp and squishy.  He reached forward, grabbing a rock with both hands. 

“ _Have you decided?_ ” Death asked.

“Yeah.  I’ve decided.”  He breathed out, slacked his muscles, and pulled. 

His elbow flared up.  Rough edges dragged across his skin. The rock pressed painful pressure all over his torso.  The agony in his elbow begged him to take a break, but he would never have the energy to do this a second time. 

 _I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this_! 

Yuri pictured Flynn’s smile and Estelle’s laugh.  Karol, Judith and Repede running alongside him on a guild mission.  The way Rita glared at him when she didn’t want to admit she found one of his jokes funny.  The old man’s dumb grin.  He wanted to see all of them again! 

The sudden lack of pressure gave him a second of feeling like he was floating as he popped out of the squeeze.  He took in a deep breath and managed a small laugh.  Then he realized that it wasn’t just his imagination that he had more space after that tight pinch; the tunnel really did give him more room for his head. 

Yuri reached up and found empty space.  The tunnel continued in front of him, but a new branch turned straight up.  A way out?  He had no way to know.  He had to make a decision.  It would probably be better to logic his way through it, but in his state, all he could think was _up is good._ He wriggled his body upward until he was standing on one foot, hemmed in by the narrow tube of rock.  After crawling on his belly for so long, it was a relief. 

He started to climb.  It was better than his last attempt at climbing because the rock wall behind him let him lean back to support himself between movements.  The good thing about the tunnel being this tight was that there wasn’t much risk of falling.  It hurt, but he barely noticed it.  All he could think of were his friends’ faces, like they were magnets dragging him up and out. 

 “Ha,” he grunted as he pushed himself higher.  “Not today, Death.  I’m… _ugh_ , not taking you up on your offer just yet.”

“ _Go!_ ” The voice bounced around the tunnel.  “ _That’s it! You’re almost there_!”

Almost there….  Was that light overhead?  A soft, pale green light that he only made out because otherwise there was nothing.  He was going to make it.  He wasn’t getting out because the world needed him, or because his friends would be sad, or even because he deserved to live.  He was going to get his life back because he _wanted_ it.  It was _his_ , dammit, and he _liked_ it.

Yuri reached for the next handhold – and found nothing.  His hand waved in open space until it slapped down on a stone floor.  His head rose out of the crack in the cave floor and he gasped as if rising out of deep water.  In seconds, he had pulled himself up, out of the crack and onto a cave floor.  Soft green light filled the room.  Water dripped, echoing around a large space. 

“Ha….”  He lay on his stomach, panting for breath.  “Thanks for the support, pal.  But it looks like… we’ll have to reschedule.”

Yuri found the strength to look around the room.  He was alone. 

He was in a small chamber.  There was no light in the room itself, but a vertical crack in the wall let soft green light in.  Yuri dragged himself across the floor and looked out into the cavernous space of the Weasand of Cados.  Bioluminescent plants glimmered on cavern walls.  Yuri pushed himself through the narrow crack.  It was a tight fit, but after the tunnel below, he barely registered it. 

Yuri slumped to the ground and leaned against the wall.  Finally, a chance to rest.  Except he couldn’t rest, because there was water at the bottom of the weasand and his desperate thirst was more powerful than his exhaustion.  He started moving after just a short breather, because if he waited any longer he wouldn’t have the strength left.

Yuri dragged himself along the path.  He finally had enough space to crawl, but not the strength.  _Water…_.  The thought drove him onward. The sound of water dripping echoed around the cavern, taunting him.

He rounded a corner and came face to face with a bulbous spider about the size of a large dog.  The monster startled onto its feet and reared up.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”  He was too tied to even feel terror at his impending death by spider. 

Then there was a _shlunk_ , a shout, the sound of a heavy body hitting the floor, and the monster fell to the side with its legs curled toward its body.  Looking up, Yuri blinked in shock and saw the green light shining on knight armour.

“That will teach you to stand up to the Knights, I say!” the knight shouted at the dead spider. 

Yuri didn’t think he had ever been so happy to see the Tweedles. 

“Yuri Lowell!” Boccos said, appearing from behind Adecor.  “He’s alive!”

“Fetch Captain Leblanc, I say!”

Yuri lay flat on his stomach, letting other people run around and make decisions for once.  Adecor ran off while Boccos stayed at his side. 

“Hey….”  Yuri’s hoarse voice could barely manage more than a whisper.  “You got any water?”

Boccos pulled a canteen off his waist.  “Here.  You may have a sip.”

Yuri snatched it with shaking hands.  He fumbled with the lid in his excitement and shoved it to his face.  Water ran down his throat like rain in a desert.  He gulped it with abandon, ignoring Boccos’ protests that he was drinking too much.  He drank until the canteen was empty and he still felt parched. 

“Thanks.”  He let the canteen fall to the floor.  Less then a minute later, his stomach seized.  He choked, coughed, and then all the water he’d desperately poured down his throat came bursting up again.  He rolled on his side and gagged as water dribbled down his chin.

“I did tell you to only have a sip,” Boccos said. 

Adecor returned with Leblanc and a stretcher some ten minutes later.  Yuri let them drag him onto it and was too relieved to have rejoined the world to be annoyed at being rescued by the Schwann Brigade. 

“Well, Yuri Lowell,” Leblanc said as he lifted the end of the stretcher by Yuri’s head, “l think I’ve had quite enough of hunting you down.”

Yuri drifted on the cusp of consciousness on the way out of the Weasand.  The fabric of the stretcher was impossibly soft after lying on rocks for days.  At the entrance of the cave sat a wagon hitched to a quietta.  Boccos swung the rear door open and they set him inside. 

“Get some rest,” Leblanc said, standing by the edge.  “It will take about an hour to get back to Nordopolica.”  He hesitated for a moment, glanced over his shoulder, and then added, “I didn’t think we would find you alive.  I’m… glad we did.”  And then he left.

Yuri thought he would spend the ride back in quiet peace, but then another person climbed into the back of the wagon.  Raven slammed the door shut and plopped to the floor beside Yuri.

“Hey, kid.  You’ve gotta stop stressing this old man out.  My poor heart can’t take it!”

Yuri managed a little smirk.  “Aw… that was my whole plan.”  He shivered, and Raven shrugged off his jacket. 

“It’s good ta see ya.”  He draped the coat over Yuri like a blanket.  “You look like hell, though.  Anything I can do for ya?”

“Water.”  Raven’s coat felt so warm after the cave.  Only a sense of pride and knowing he would never live it down kept him from snuggling into it.

“Ah, of course.”  Raven pulled out his own canteen as the wagon lurched to movement.  He slipped an arm under Yuri’s back to help him sit up enough to drink.  “Only take a sip.  Ya might throw it all up again if ya try ta chug it.” 

“Yeah, I figured that out,” he grumbled before taking the tiny sip.  Yuri knew from experience that Raven was right but was still upset to see the water taken away.  He slumped back to the floor and winced as it lurched.  “What are you doing here, anyway?  And the Tweedles?”

“Lookin’ for you, of course.  As for Leblanc and his men, well, they’re ‘on leave’.”  He gave Yuri a wink.  “Flynn called Leblanc in for a meeting the day after we learned you’d vanished inta the caves.  Told him that he had things under control and didn’t need him for the next few days.  He politely suggested they try exploring some of the caves around the Weasand, but to be careful because he’d heard a guildsman had gone missing in 'em.”

Yuri had to smile.  “That bastard.  He knows he isn’t supposed to send knights after a guild member.  Guess I can’t complain, though.”

“Be nice ta him.  He’s been so distracted worryin’ about you that he hasn’t been at the top of his game for negotiating with the guilds.  Karol and Judy are still roaming the foothills.  Rita and Estelle are on their way here.  Ya really know how to case drama.”

“Hm… I try my best.  How long was I down there?”

“About… four and a half days.”

“Damn.  Can I have more water?”

“Just a mouthful.”  He handed Yuri the canteen.

Limiting himself to just a mouthful was almost harder than forcing himself to crawl into the tunnel.  “You got any food?”

“Sorry.  I got nothin’.”

“It’s alright.  I haven’t eaten in three days.  Another hour isn’t that bad.”

Raven squeezed his shoulder.  “Get some rest, kid.  You look like you could use a nap.”

Yuri had never agreed with Raven more.

* * *

Yuri slept all the way to Nordopolica.  He thought he might have nightmares after that tunnel, but instead he slept like the dead.  He didn’t wake up until pain in his leg jolted him out of sleep.  Bright light blinded him and for a moment, he thought he was dead.

“Sorry,” a young women in a yellow dress said.  “This might sting.”

Yuri blinked and realized he was lying on a soft bed in a brightly lit room.  The smell of the sea drifted through an open window, along with the buzz of activity on the street below.  He was in Nordopolica.  He was really, truly, out of that cave. 

Being out of the cave meant seeing a doctor at long last.  Yuri didn’t enjoy having his leg poked and prodded, and he especially didn’t like seeing it with the pant cut away and bright light showing up all the lumpy, purple details.  Legs should really not look like that.  He lay back and chewed on his lip as the nurse and the doctor continue their exam. 

Yuri usually felt awkward any time he got medical attention and hated the sensation of strangers poking around his body.  In this case, though, he was happy to lie there and let the world buzz by him.  He stared at seagulls out the window as nurses washed him down and scrubbed dirt out of days-old scrapes.  Funny; he’d never cared about dumb birds before.  He winced as they positioned his arm into a sling and then applied a splint to his leg.  They stuck a skinny tube into his arm and explained, in slightly different words, that he was so dehydrated it was better to skip his mouth entirely and shove the water directly into his body.  Yuri let all of this happen with an idle contentment. 

“That’s about it,” the doctor said.

Yuri lay in bed, propped up on pillows.  This was so much better than slumping against rocks.  The mattress was soft, the green blanket was soft and warm, and sunlight shone in a hot square across his lap from the window.  The cave had only been this morning, but it already seemed like a universe away.  “I’m all set?”

“There’s just one thing I need to talk to you about.” 

He wasn’t smiling.  Yuri’s contentment slipped for a moment.  It wasn’t good when doctors looked at you like that.  “Spit it out.”

“Your leg.  It was too badly broken and left unset for too long.  The bone marrow inside has most likely died, plus you’ve had terrible circulation to your lower leg since the injury.  Even with surgery, it isn't salvageable.”

Yuri stared at the lump under the blanket.  The news wasn’t entirely surprising.  He’d known it was a mess from the beginning, and he hadn’t exactly been in a position to treat it tenderly.  Still, his shoulders slumped with disappointment.  “Damn.  You’re positive?”

“As positive as we can be without cutting it open and inspecting the bone, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Yuri had to take another few moments to think about this.  The doctor politely waited for the news to sink in. 

“There a reason you haven’t cut it off yet?”

“I want you to regain your strength and get more fluids into you before you undergo surgery.  We’ll probably do it in a few days.”

“Alright….”  Yuri stared at his leg and tried to comprehend what it would mean to lose it.  After the emotional rush of climbing out this morning, he didn’t feel like he had enough strong emotions left to fully react to this news. 

“That’s all I wanted to talk to you about.  You can have some food now, and would you like to rest, or should I let your friends in to see you?”

“Let them in,” he said without hesitation. 

The doctor left and the door burst open only a few seconds later.  “Yuri!”  Karol covered the distance to the bed in seconds and clearly struggled to not throw himself onto it.  They all spilled in, smiles splitting their faces.  Repede took a seat right beside him and rested his chin on the bed while Judith folded her hands behind her back and beamed at him from the foot of the bed.  Best of all, Flynn arrived carrying a bowl of soup on a tray. 

“Boy am I ever glad to see you,” Yuri said.

Flynn set the tray on Yuri’s lap.  “I was so worried about you.”

“Not you, the soup.” 

Karol laughed while Yuri greedily spooned some of the broth into his mouth.  He longed for a steak, but after what happened with Boccos’ canteen, he understood the need to ease back onto food and water. 

“Estelle and Rita are coming,” Karol explained and took a seat on the edge of the bed.  We sent for them as soon as you didn’t come back.”

“Aw, man,” Yuri said.  “When Rita arrives and realizes I’m not missing anymore, she’s going to punch me for dragging her all the way out here.” 

His friends laughed.  They babbled about fruitless searches and sleepless nights, about how happy they were to see him, and how wonderful it was that he was ok.  Yuri only half-listened.  Having them all around was everything he’d fought for, and he was happy just to see them.  Besides, there was that… other thing.  His mind drifted to his leg between every spoonful of warm broth. 

“Ok,” Flynn said when the conversation hit a lull and Yuri’s bowl was empty.  “I think we’ve imposed on Yuri long enough.”  He looked to Yuri for confirmation and then kept going when Karol started to protest.  “He needs sleep.  He’s exhausted.”

“Don’t go crawling down any more caves as soon as we leave you alone,” Judith said, and then took the empty bowl from him. 

They all started to leave, but Yuri said, “Flynn.  A word?”

Flynn nodded and ushered the others out of the room.  He closed the door and returned to Yuri’s side, which Repede refused to vacate.  “I hope you don’t mind me cutting the visit off.  You look like you’re ready to fall asleep sitting up.”

Yuri rubbed his face.  “I am.  I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks, even though I slept down there plenty of times.  Never felt restful.”

“What happened, anyway?  Was there an accident?”

“Sort of.  The guy I went with turned out to be a criminal bastard.  He was trying to imprison me down there as a hostage to manipulate you.”

Flynn’s face darkened.  “Where is he now?”

“Dead as a doornail.  We both fell down a cliff and he broke his neck.”

“Damn….  And you’ve been down there this whole time?”

Yuri hadn’t wanted to talk about it in the full room.  With everyone grinning and the atmosphere light, stories about the cave didn’t quite fit.  Now, in a quiet room with just Flynn, he could bring it up.  “Yeah. Eventually, I decided that no one was going to rescue me and I had to crawl out myself.”

“How did you do it?”

“I found a tunnel that led to the surface.”

“No, I mean… _how_.  I talked to the doctor.  He’s shocked you’re not dead.  To climb out of there by yourself in your condition… Yuri, that’s incredible.”

Yuri wasn’t sure how to explain that he hadn’t been alone.  If he hadn’t had someone to talk to down there, someone to push him onward, he probably wouldn’t have made it.  As certain as he had been of Death’s presence down below, it seemed ridiculous to say aloud in this brightly lit room.  “I don’t know.  I guess I just… realized I had a lot to fight for.”

“I’m so thankful you made it out in one piece.”

Yuri cringed.  “Well… about that.”

Flynn’s face fell.  “What is it?”

Yuri told him.  Flynn’s face fell further.

“Yuri… no….  That’s….”

“You know, I’m actually alright with it.”  Shockingly, he meant it.  “Obviously I’m not _pleased_.  It’s really going to suck to have to get used to walking on a wooden leg, or using crutches, or whatever.  But I’m alive, aren’t I?”  Yuri folded his hands on his lap and joined Flynn’s gaze at his foot.  “When I think about how hard it was to get here, how close I came to dying, how much I fought to see the sunlight again… I’m just happy to be alive.  I didn’t go through hell to get back to life just to spend it being miserable about my leg.  So what if I lose it?  I still have all of you, right?”

Flynn couldn’t help but smile.  “You really are the strongest person I know, Yuri.”

“And now, I have to ask you to follow the others because I’m seriously beat.”

“Of course.  The guild meetings are ending tomorrow, but I’ll stay in Nordopolica as long as I can.  At the very least, I’ll be here this evening. Sleep well, and I hope you feel better when you wake up.”

Flynn left and Yuri settled into his pillows.  He closed his eyes and let out a long, relaxed sigh.  They’d given him drugs for the pain and for the first time in days, he wasn’t trying to fall asleep through an orchestra of agony.  The bed was so soft and the room was so warm.  The pit in his stomach had been filled in, and Repede’s soft breaths beside him coaxed him toward the edge of sleep. 

This… was good.  He was so happy to be here that he couldn’t even be upset to know he was going to lose his leg.  Life was suffering, and if he didn’t want to deal with it, he could have stayed below.  He refused to lament anything about the life he’d fought so hard to return to.  Yuri knew that if ever a situation became too much and he simply couldn’t bear it, an old friend would be there to take him away.  But for now, that friend could stay locked away in the dark.


End file.
